Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Once upon a time at Traffic Signal


Alarm rings.... 8 0'clock...... He wake up, brushing teeth, taking bath, getting ready and leaving his room of chawl at 8:30. He starts walking towards main road. Main road is 15 minutes away from the chawl. There is a big traffic signal at main road. He come there at 8:45 and go to one tea stall at signal. He orders tea and wait there for start of the signals.
Signal starts daily at sharp 9. Traffic Policeman is coming at 8:50-8:55. First Traffic policeman comes near tea stall to start the signal. After he switch on the signals, he too takes tea at the same stall. 
He saw the traffic policeman very near by. and then he starts observing him. and He does that for two long hours. There are many other thing happens at signal but he has set his focal point to traffic policemen only. Traffic policeman is very efficient to handle the traffic. He manages the traffic such way that there is no jam at his signal. He got the award for that from the city police commissioner. Like inspection, he see how traffic policemen handles the traffic, gives more time to peak side traffic for signal. After observing him for long time, he concludes that traffic policemen is really good at handling traffic. 
At 11, He goes to his office. At 2, He again come back to signal, eat some snacks there only by standing and watching the traffic policeman's activity.
At 7, He leave the office and come back at Signal again. Traffic is at peak as everyone in the city is in hurry to reach the home and spend time with their near and dear ones. But not him, he is in no hurry. He still watching the same traffic policeman.
At 9:30,  Traffic slow down and it is time to stop the signal. Traffic policeman stops signal and then start to walk towards his home. He following him. Traffic policeman does not know that. Traffic policeman reach home at 10:10. Traffic policeman is living in government quarter. He knows the address of Traffic policeman. He got his quarter number from the panwala near quarters. After traffic policeman is enter the quarters, he starts back journey to his chawl. He reach his chawl at 11 and go to sleep.
That's his daily routine of almost a year, to be precise 355 days. He is alone. He is following this traffic policeman for 355 days. No one knows his motive. Neither any one noticed nor any one interested in his activity. He looks very ordinary people and there are many people like him at signal.
But Tomorrow will be different for him and for traffic policeman too. He decided to kill the traffic policeman. He is preparing this for last 355 days. He had bought one revolver with silencer from his chawl's gunda few days back. and learned how to use it.
Days starts normally as usual. But nothing is normal for him today. He is keep thinking what happened year ago. His wife was pregnant and she was having labor pain at 9 only. He called rickshaw and want to go near by hospital. For hospital, they have to cross the signal and then 10-15 mins drive. They started at 9:15 but... stuck with the traffic jam at signal around 9:30. The traffic policeman was not in sight there. May be he was not there at all. May be he was at leave. Whatever it was, They stuck there for 30 mins and then his wife died in the rickshaw only without seeing hospital gate.
He has suddenly come out of thought and see the traffic policeman at signal. He believes that traffic policeman is the culprit of his wife's death. Had he was at the signal year ago, his wife would be alive and he would be proud father of one year old children. but.....
Morning and noon time is normal and routine. He has decided he would kill him at night, when he about to reach his home.
At 7, he has reached at signal but what he saw. Again there is traffic jam and thousands of thought crossed his mind. Has the traffic policeman got the idea? has anyone complained that he is watching him since 355 days? but that should not happen. He hasn't tell anyone about it. He cut off himself from whole world and just observing traffic policeman. and no one ever asked him why he is doing that? then what happened? he asked the tea-wala about traffic policeman and tea-wala said 'he must be on leave today. he hasn't come after lunch and that's why there is traffic jam.'
He starts walking towards the quarters. His heart is pumping fast. He panicked that may be traffic policemen noticed him silently all these days and he knew about his motive. He go straight to traffic policeman quarter and what he see? 
Traffic policeman is celebrating his daughter's birthday. Wall decorated with ribbons '1st Happy Birthday to Vaidehi'....

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Guys' Rules.....

Disclaimer: It is forwarded mail and published with intend to fun and nice humor. Girls please don't take seriously, Anyway it is not going to work with you.
The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear
"the rules" From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
1. Men are NOT mind readers.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 
1. Crying is emotional blackmail.

 
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just come to the point and say it directly!!

 
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. ‘may be’, ‘perhaps’ and ‘whatever’, such answers don’t serve any purpose.

 
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. don’t force us to drag you to a doctor.

See a doctor
yourself.
 
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days

 
1. If you are no heroines, don’t expect us to act like heroes.

 
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

 
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

 
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We
will act like nothings wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the argument.

 
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really
…..  
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as CRICKET
OR FOOTBALL.
 
1. You have enough clothes.

 
1. You have too many shoes.
 
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!  
 
1. Thank you for reading this.  

 
1. All points are marked as point no. (1), becoz all points are equally Important.

There is no thing as More Important or less Important.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Aha... one more tag.. I am loving it.....

It is fun and it is fast one... no need to think much about while doing this post......


Ten how’s:
1. How did you get one of your scars? From an accident at the age of 12.
2. How did you celebrate your last birthday? I was at office. :( ...... Went for dinner with family during weekend.
3. How are you feeling at this moment? Fresh, Its morning time.
4. How did your night go last night? Finished novel.
5. How did you do in high school? Ok Ok.... actually screwed up in 12th...
6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? Bought myself.
7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? Almost every weekend.
8. How much money did you spend last month? well, If I tell, people will know me how thrifty I am, bt still let me tell, 8000 only.
9. How old do you want to be when you get married? I am already married, at 24.
10. How old will you be at your next birthday? Aah.. 29.....


Nine what’s:
1. Your mothers name?
I am sure that's none of your business! but its tag so... Leelaben...
2. What did you do last weekend? Attended family function... you see I m family man now...
3. What is the most important part of your life? My daughter, Hetsi.
4. What would you rather be doing? Directing a movie or Cricketer.... or on the real note, Architecture
5. What did you last cry over? When I got my appraisal later.. just kidding.. not sure which movie but definitely It must be some touchy movie...
6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? I read or may be some good movie...
7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? Confident... n Aggression...
8. What are you worried about? Dad's health....
9. What did you have for breakfast? half fry at Irani hotel... testy...
 
Eight you’s:
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Countless.... but long ago....ok..
2. Have you ever had your heartbroken? Many times... :) ... you know teenage love stories..
3. Have you ever been out of the country? Nooo.... but I want to....
4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? Yup......
5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? Yup... during college days...
6. Have you ever had sex on the beach? Nooo.... it's distant dream....
7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? Nope.... means 2 year difference is doesn't count here... right?
8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Few times. Latest being "Paralysis" by Bakshi n its awesome....

 
Seven who’s:
1. Who was the last person you saw?
My roomie...
2. Who was the last person you texted? Ahh... not into this game now...
3. Who was the last person you hung out with? My daughter, Hetsi
4. Who was the last person to call you? Rinku, my wify.
5. Who did you last hug? hmmmm......
6. Who is the last person who texted you? Office friend.... may be he has free sms scheme... :) ..
7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? off course, my wify....
 
Six where’s:
1. Where does your best friend(s) live?
Some in the same city, some in the distant city n country....
2. Where did you last go? Irani hotel for breakfast...
3. Where did you last hang out? World cup final at Jitu's (Friend) place.....
4. Where do you go to school? I went to 4 schools! All in Gujarat, Amdavad and Surat.
5. Where is your favorite place to be? Obviously Home.
6. Where did you sleep last night? In my bed. what kind of question it is!!!!!
 
Five do’s:
1. Do you think anyone likes you?
Must be many.. :) ... not sure.... please tell me if u one of them....
2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? yup... many inspired me....
3. Do you know the muffin man? No!
4. Does the future scare you? No... it excites me.... specially uncertainty of Life...
5. Do your parents know about your blog? No.... my wife knows...
 
Four why’s:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend?
aah... it just happens.....
2. Why did you get into Blogging? To Write, To bore people.. To share/express my views...
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? They must have liked it. :) I hate it thought...
4. Why are you doing this survey? hmmmm.... for fun.....

Three if’s:
1. If you could have one super power what would it be?
I love to remember all thing I read just from glare...... :) ....
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? Yes, Like to get higher marks in 12th and be architect.
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? My love....


Two would-you-ever’s:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
No.... I am married now.. Happily married....
2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? Yup, definitely, I am anyway ready for new style always and if it helping someone, its better....

One last question:

1. Are you happy with your life right now?
welll... I am too busy to think about.... work... family... movies...reading... blogging... ya, I am loving it..... that's for sure...

Sunday, July 18, 2010

વરસાદ...

જયારે પણ તમે વરસાદ વિષે વાંચ્યું, સાંભળ્યું હશે ત્યારે વરસાદ સાથે સરસ, રોમાંચ, પ્રેમ, બાળપણ વગેરેની ભેળસેળ સાથેનું જ વાંચ્યું, સાંભળ્યું હશે.... પણ હકીકતમાં, તમે આ કેટલી વાર માણ્યું? કોલેજમાં હશો અથવા ગૃહિણી હશો તો થોડી વાર વધારે બાકી નોકરી/ધંધો કરતા હશો ત્યારે કેટલી વાર?
આ કૈક એવું છે કે લેખક/કવિ તમે રહેતા હો એ જગ્યાનું એવું સરસ વર્ણન કરે કે જેણે એ જગ્યા જોઈ ના હોય એને ત્યાં રેહવાનું મન થઇ જાય પણ તમે વરસોથી એ જ જગ્યાએ રહીને એવો કોઈ અનુભવ કર્યો ના હોય.... 
મોટેભાગે તો નોકરી/ધંધાવાળા માટે વરસાદ મુસીબતોનો પહાડ લઇને જ આવે છે, ખાસ કરીને મુંબઈ જેવા શહેરમાં.
પહેલાં તો તમે પગપાળા જતા હોવ તો રસ્તાની એકદમ ખૂણામાં ચાલવું પડે. રસ્તા પર પાણી ભરાયેલા હોય અને કાર-બાઈકવાળા એમની ઝડપે જતા હોય ત્યારે પાણી તમારા કપડાં સહીત ચહેરાને પણ સ્પર્શ કરી શકે છે. ખાસ કરીને તમે જે દિવસે સફેદ કપડા પહેર્યા હશે એ જ વખતે આવું થવાની શક્યતા વધારે છે. જો તમે એટલા નસીબવાળા હોવ કે એવું ના થાય તો પણ પાણી ભરાયેલું હોય અને તમે બુટ-મોંજાં પહેર્યા હોય અને પછી બુટ ભીનાં થાય એટલે મોજાં પણ ભીનાં થાય અને પછી જો જે મજા પડે ઓફીસમાં... ચપક ચપક...
રસ્તા પણ પાણી ભરાવાને લીધે પહેલેથી સાંકડા રસ્તાઓ વધારે સાંકડા થઇ જાય અને પછી જુવો ટ્રાફિકની મજા!!! જ્યાં રોજ મારે ૩૦ મિનીટ થતી હતી ઓફીસ જતાં એ જ હવે ૪૫-૫૦-૬૦ મિનીટ થઇ જાય છે, વરસાદની જ મહેરબાની તો વળી... ફાયદો એટલો કે પહેલાં હું બસમાં બૂકના ૨૦-૩૦ પાનાં વાંચતો હતો, હવે એ પણ ૪૫-૫૦-૬૦ થઇ જાય છે. ...  :) ....
આટલું થયા પછી ભીનાં કપડે ઓફીસ પહોંચો એટલે પછી ઓફીસમાં એસીમાં એન્ટાર્કટીકામાં બેઠા હો એવું લાગે.
ગૃહિણીઓને પણ પૂછો કે કપડાં સુકાવાની કેટલી માથાકૂટ થાય છે, ક્યારેક વરસાદમાં મુંબઈમાં કોઈના મહેમાન થશો ત્યારે તેમનાં ડ્રોઈંગરૂમમાં જ તમને ગંજી-જાંગીયા લટકતાં દેખાશે.
મોટેભાગે વરસાદ આખો દિવસ નહિ આવે પણ જયારે તમારે અગત્યના કામ માટે બહાર જવું હશે ત્યારે જ તમને ભીનો કરવા માટે આવશે, આવો તો મારો નહિ પણ ઘણાનો અનુભવ હશે...
તો ભાઈઓ કેહવાનો મતલબ એટલો જ કે આજની ભાગદોડભરી જિંદગીમાં વરસાદ માણવાનો અનુભવ દરેકનાં નસીબમાં નથી હોતો. કવિઓ-લખકોને તો ઠીક છે, ઓફીસ હોય નહિ અને ઘેર બેઠા કવિતા-લેખો લખવાનાં હોય એટલે એમને તો મજા જ પડેને વરસાદની.
બાકી મને કોઈ દુશ્મની નથી વરસાદ જોડે, મને પણ જયારે રવિવારની નવરાશ હોય અને ક્યાંય બહાર જવાનું ના હોય અને ઘરે હીંચકા પર બેઠા બેઠા ચા પીવા મળવાની હોય ત્યારે હું પણ ઈચ્છું કે વરસાદ આખો દિવસ આવે અને એની થોડી થોડી વાછંટ મને હીંચકા પર પલાળ્યા કરે... આ લેખ પણ વરસાદની મજા માણતાં માણતાં જ લખ્યો છે...અને અગાસીમાં વરસાદમાં નહાવાની મજા તો કૈક ઓર જ છે...

Monday, July 12, 2010

Wish List....

Nothing comes specific to write and then I found this tag at URNER.

It seems interesting and Its very simple... You just strike out the things from the list which you have not done yet...and the list goes as..... so lets find out... (I have added my comment in bracket.. I thought it would be more fun...)

1. Graduated high school. (ohh, this must be prepare by some college goer....I did Masters buddy)
2. Kissed someone. (I am married... :) .... )
3. Smoked a cigarette. (Not a regular though.... but enjoyed lot specially in chilly weather...)
4. Got so drunk you passed out. (Aha...)
5. Rode every ride at an amusement park. (Essel world... yahoooo...)
6. Collected something stupid.(Bus passes while I was in college...)
7. Gone to a rock concert.
8. Helped someone. (Be specific here....)
9. Gone fishing. (Naaa..not yet and Don't want to... but love to read book there...)
10. Watched four movies in one night. (Its easy.....)
11. Lied to someone.(its survival..... :) .... )
12. Snorted cocaine. (never but want to try at least... at least ones......)
13. Smoked weed. (again want to try at least... at least ones......)
14. Failed a subject. (Ahh.... Cricket match and exams came to-gather always.... luckily I failed in internals only)
15. Been in a car accident. (Just two days ago and it broke my car's number-plate but no one injure, ok..)
16. Been in a tornado.
17. Watched someone die. (It's really horrifying... aah riots...)
18. Been to a funeral.  (Its scary but peaceful place to visit)
19. Burned yourself. (I am learning cook....)
20. Run a marathon. (Want to... even Half marathon will do...)
21. Cried yourself to sleep. (aah... teenager love stories...)
22. Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day. ( I am married... on D day...)
23. Flown on an aero-plane. (Want to..... what a feeling...)
24. Cheated on someone. (Those were the good old college days....)
25. Been cheated on. (No idea..... So I am striking...)
26. Written a 10 page letter. (Make it 4 page and I did)
27. Gone skiing.(Ahh,,, love to... soon....)
28. Been sailing. (Ahh... love to... soon....)
29. Cut yourself. (No000o...... I love my life... you see the above list.. many things are pending...)
30. Had a best friend. (Many....)
31. Lost someone you loved. (Nope.. and I don't want to..)
32. Got into trouble for something you didn’t do. (Yup, At office..... :(.... )
33. Stolen a book from the library. (Nope, I read books only ones....)
34. Gone to a different country. (Ahh... It is long awaiting dream.. being in IT for 5 years, Its stigma... :( ..)
35. Watched the Harry Potter movies. (Well.... not much into comics and imaginations...)
36. Had an online diary. (You are reading it....)
37. Fired a gun. (Toy gun... yes...and video game gun too... :) ...)
38. Gambled in a casino. (Someday I will... and none other but at Last Vegas...)
39. Been in a school play. (There was no school plays in my school.. :( .... but ya, taken part in many quiz)
40. Been fired from a job. (Not directly but They didn't increased my salary so I left 2...)
41. Taken a lie detector test. (Nope... and I don't want, you see, I am married..)
42. Swam with dolphins. (Nope but I sweemed with many elephant at my society pool, Pune.. :)... )
43. Voted for someone on a reality TV show. (No... it's all crap....)
44. Written poetry. (yup... here only...)
45. Read more than 20 books a year. (Hopefully this year only n soon.. 16 already till June....)
46. Gone to Europe. (Love to...)
47. Loved someone you shouldn’t have. (Well... what to say....)
48. Used a coloring book over age 12. (yup... till 10th, I love drawing.. was one of the best in class)
49. Had a surgery.(one was immediately after birth only n then also one for eye...)
50. Had stitches. (yup...)
51. Taken a Taxi. (its too normal...)
52. Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once. (its even more normal.... not now.. when in college)
53. Been in a fist fight. (aha....)
54. Suffered any form of abuse. (I lived in India only....)
55. Had a pet. (never want to....)
56. Petted a wild animal.(never got a chance... surely when at Gir during year end...)
57. Had your own credit card and bought something with it. (I told you this tag is created by some college goer..)
58. Dyed your hair.(Colored yes... dyed..abhi time hai mere dost...)
59. Got a tattoo...(yup.. n it was cool...don't have permanent..)
60. Had something pierced. (oouch... I still don't understand why Girls do!!!!!)
61. Got straight A’s. (many times...)
62. Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS. (Nope.... )
63. Taken pictures with a web cam. (Its old fashioned now...)
64. Lost something expensive.(hmmmmm...myself.. or my dreams.. want to be cricket or architect.. aah.. just kidding... but something expensive...only two pair of woodland shoes.... :) ....)
65. Gone to sleep with music on. (Many..many times…!!)

AAha... its fun... got to know that there r many things remaining and also.. after checking list.. realized that I have pretty normal life n all these years I m thinking that I m different from others.. uff... it called living in an own world.... 

I pass this tag on to all those who love doing TAGS..!! :) Enjoy and do leave me a comment if you are taking this up..!! :)

Have a great week..!! :)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Office Office....


P: How are you buddy?
A: OK, going on as usual.
P: Just OK!!!! As far as I know, you are doing good, all settled for you.
A: Yup, You are right, but then This settled life has no adventures, it is so regular, routine, hmmm.. very boring in fact.
P: Oh, Just try to miss the train and you will feel adventure. You are very organized nowadays so it would be fun.
A: !!!!!!!!!!!! Hell true........

Saturday, July 3, 2010

One Fine Day...


One day, I will wake up at 6 without alarm...
One day, I will go for walk/cycling for 1 hour and do yoga/swimming for 30 minutes...
One day, I will make perfect strong tea...
One day, I read news about petrol prices reduces to 20 rs & government increase tax slab 10% up to 10 lakhs...
One day, I reach the stop on time and bus too is on time...
One day, There will be no traffic chaos at road and traffic is moving fast...
One day, All environments at office working fine and there is mail from client 'all things are running nice'...
One day, Lunch at office will be really tasty...
One day, There will be no call/meeting at evening and I leave office at 6...
One day, I will receive call from long time friend and we meet and take nice dinner at our favorite restaurant...
One day, I will watch the complete movie after dinner... and movie is nice... 
One day, I will read 100 pages of novel before sleep...
One day, I will sleep at 11...
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What a dream na.... just finished movie, One Fine Day... and really want to write something but nothing meaning full comes in mind so this crap.... :) .......